


Attack on Plaideweave

by thislittlerunaway



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:09:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thislittlerunaway/pseuds/thislittlerunaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor made armor out of all plaideweave. Dorian and Vivienne cannot allow their Inquisitor to be caught dead in such an outfit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack on Plaideweave

**Author's Note:**

> Plaideweave is probably the most hideous material that you can craft with in Dragon Age: Inquisition. This is based off of the many times that I have run out of other cloth to make armor with and have been stuck with plaideweave, which seems to be the material I have most of.   
> FYI: I headcannoned my Inquisitor as gender-fluid and prefers they/them/their pronouns. And yes, my Inquisitor IS based off of the character LaFontaine from Carmilla (I have no shame in admitting that).

Lafontaine grumbled angrily as they went to go make new armor. When they had been at the Hissing Wastes they had only been able to find plaideweave and they didn’t have enough of any other cloth to replace the disgusting material.   
Giving a resigned sigh, Lafontaine made the new armor. The next time they went out, they would make sure to find many, many more materials that weren’t plaideweave. They also supposed they could fill out requisition forms, but that took dedication they didn’t have as far as materials went.   
Refusing to put on the new armor until they absolutely had to, which wouldn’t be for another four weeks when they went to the Emerald Graves, Lafontaine headed back to their room. Of all the places that the Inquisition had to travel to, the Hissing Wastes was probably their least favorite place, next to the Fallow Mire. They wanted to get some rest in before they spent the rest of the day, and probably tomorrow with Josephine. Speaking of Josephine, Lafontaine made a mental note to keep their new armor away from the Antivan woman, knowing that if she were to catch sight of the stuff, she would not be pleased.   
Once Lafontaine was in their room, they threw the armor haphazardly onto the bed. They probably should have put the armor in a more secure place, but at this point, Lafontaine didn’t care what happened to it. As long as it lasted them the next four weeks until they could get more cloth, it didn’t matter. They walked over to the desk and looked at the paperwork that had accumulated while they were gone. Most of the paperwork was from their advisors and only needed to be signed, the rest were letters of thanks, requests, or Leliana letting Lafontaine know how their clan was doing.   
“I must say,” a voice interrupted them, “As much as I despise the cold, it is nice to be out of the Hissing Wastes.”  
“You know Dorian,” Lafontaine said with a wide smile, “there is this lovely thing called knocking. You should try it some time.”  
“And give up seeing you get adorably annoyed? Never.”   
Lafontaine laughed and put their quill down. They were just about to ask Dorian why he was here, when he let out a horrified gasp. “My dear Inquisitor, please tell me what is that horrid thing on your bed?”  
“My… my new armor.” Lafontaine replied hesitantly, covering their face with their hand.   
Dorian, for what it was worth, tried to remain dignified, but it seemed as though the armor on the bed was offending him just based on its existence.   
“As your best friend and confidant, I must inform you that you are NOT going out in public wearing… that.”   
“Believe you me Dorian, if I had a choice I would never be caught dead in that.”  
“Then why, pray tell, is it laying on your bed? I fear we need to have a serious discussion about your tastes.”  
“I needed new armor, sadly, that disgusting stuff was all I had enough of.” Lafontaine said, voice matching Dorian’s pained expression.   
“This just won’t do. Come, we’re going to rectify this tragedy.”  
Dorian walked to their desk and pulled Lafontaine up, grabbing their arm and dragging them out of the room. Lafontaine kept asking him where they were going, but he kept shushing them.   
Finally, after what felt like forever, the pair stopped in front of Vivienne, who when they arrived, looked annoyed at their presence. “My dears, please tell me there is a reason for your being here.” Vivenne said with a condescending look on her face.   
“We have a crisis my dear Vivienne,” Dorian said dramatically (at least in Lafontaine’s personal opinion. It wasn’t that much of a crisis), a grave look on his face.   
Vivienne raised an eyebrow and gave Dorian an expression that wasn’t quite as condescending as before. She was obviously curious and a bit skeptical of what Dorian might call a crisis, and it was clear she was growing annoyed with his vague dramatics. That is, until Dorian held up Lafontaine’s armor. “What is that?” Vivienne said with the same horrified expression Dorian had given Lafontaine earlier.  
“This is our lovely Inquisitor’s armor. I am afraid we cannot allow this.”   
“Why on earth would you make such disgusting armor my dear? I knew you had a habit of making questionable decisions, but I didn’t know it was this serious.”   
Lafontaine felt as though they should be offended by Vivienne’s comment, but considering how much closer the two have been getting recently, they decided to let it go. Especially since their decision to make all plaideweave armor WAS an incredibly questionable decision. Also, Vivienne was not wrong in saying that some of the decisions that Lafontaine made… were slightly questionable. They had a habit of acting (or jumping) first and thinking later.   
“It’s not like I had a choice!” Lafontaine squeaked, trying to maintain some shred of dignity, “it’s the only material I had enough of.”   
“My dear, you could have just waited until you had more of another material.” Vivienne said as Dorian nodded his head in agreement.   
Lafontaine rolled their eyes as Dorian and Vivienne continued to discuss the best course of action. At one point Dorian suggested setting it on fire, and since he was a fire mage, it would be easy for him to do. Vivienne shook her head, saying that that would be too lenient a punishment for the vile thing.   
“Oh I know!” Dorian exclaimed after a moment of thinking, “Why don’t we give it to Corypheus? He’ll be sure to surrender after seeing this wretched piece of shit.”  
“I think that would make him more inclined to keep attacking us.” Vivienne said, the lines on her forehead increasing the more she thought about what they could do. “I think we should travel to Val Royeaux and get more cloth. Once we get back you can have a burning ceremony.”  
“Sounds delightful! We should inform Josephine of where we’re going, and have her import more materials.” Dorian stated, already making his way down the stairs to the main hall.   
Lafontaine paled. They were all for Dorian and Vivienne taking the reins, but involving Josephine was not something that they were looking forward to. It was something that Lafontaine had been trying to avoid, and now thanks to their hell-bent companions, it looked as if that wasn’t going to happen. Sighing, Lafontaine started after them, arriving at their love’s office only a few seconds after Vivienne and Dorian, who appeared to have interrupted a meeting between the advisors.   
“Inquisitor.” Cullen and Leliana said to Lafontaine as they entered. They both appeared to have smirks on their face, and to Lafontaine that only meant one thing: Josephine had already been informed of the “crisis” at hand.   
“I will put in orders for more Dales Loden Wool, Royal Sea Silk, Samite, and Ring Velvet. In the meantime, take the Inquisitor to Val Royeaux to get them more fabrics.” Josephine said, looking up just in time to see Lafontaine. “For the love of Andraste, please tell me this isn’t actually yours? It’s for Sera right? Or Varric?”   
Lafontaine smiled sheepishly, “No, it’s mine. Can we please stop making this into something it’s not? It was the only material I had enough of!”   
“Surely you could have waited just a little longer? Or traveled somewhere else before coming back to get more fabrics?”  
“My other armor is in ruins from hunting dragons,” Lafontaine said in a whisper, hoping that the others wouldn’t hear them. After hearing Cullen and Dorian’s low chuckles however, they realized they didn’t speak quietly enough. “And in my defense, I didn’t know that I was out of materials until I got back here.”   
Josephine sighed, resting her head in her hands, “We can’t let the nobles that are staying here in Skyhold see this.” She said with a sudden gasp, “What will they think if they hear about it? This will not do well for the Inquisition’s reputation; for your reputation.”   
Lafontaine resisted the urge to roll their eyes. Personally they thought that everyone was taking this way too far. Yes plaideweave was ugly and no one should ever wear the stuff, besides maybe Sera. Sera seemed to pull off the disgusting material well in the form of leggings. Aside from her though, no one should be allowed to wear the shit, but at the time Lafontaine didn’t have any other options. It wasn’t like the world was going to end just because one set of their armor was made with plaideweave. In present company however, Lafontaine dare not say such words.   
“Get your Hart ready my dear, we’re leaving immediately.” Vivienne said, pulling Lafontaine out of their thoughts.   
“Fine, let me just get my blades, I want to be ready in case anything happens.” Lafontaine said, moving to leave Josephine’s office as quickly as possible.   
“Maker forbid the Inquisitor go anywhere without their blades.” Dorian said teasingly. Lafontaine, ever the dignitary, stuck their tongue out at Dorian and went to get ready. Well, the elf thought, there goes relaxing and spending the day with Josephine. 

Lafontaine collapsed on their bed after returning from Val Royeaux a couple days later. Vivienne, Dorian, and Varric had been relentless and Lafontaine was thankful to finally get a break. They loved their friends, truly they did, but after trying on so many fabrics and making sure that the “Plaideweave Crisis” never happened again, Lafontaine wanted to never see any material ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to terunakamura for being my beta reader! :)


End file.
